LOSING FRIENDS AND ALIENATING FAMILY DURING THE CORONAVIRUS SCAMDEMIC

I was a kid during the Vietnam War. I remember the stateside rancor that it caused. When, five years ago, people would say “This country has never been so divided,” I responded that the division wasn’t nearly as sharp as it had been during the Vietnam Era.

The past 18 months have changed my view. Americans are now more deeply divided than during Vietnam. This seems unjustified by the facts. It’s far more tragic when 19 year olds die than when 90 year olds do.

I’ve posted a series of essays and stories—some on Substack—observing that tens of millions of Americans have been badly hurt by lockdowns, mask wearing and vaccinations. Throughout, I’ve cited facts, made observations and raised questions not heard on PBS, NPR nor seen in the New York Times or Washington Post.

While thousands of people have read and thanked me for writing these, many friends and some family have conspicuously declined to respond. Most who replied have taken the conventional, superficial view regarding the Coronavirus, internalizing the panic sold by a fearmongering media and opportunistic politicians. They typically recite only the death toll figure over the past X months, without any knowledge of the consideration of the age or health status of the decedents, or of the widespread miscategorization of deaths; in particular, they know nothing about the extremely misleading PCR tests, which had badly overstated the number of Covid deaths. They also disregard that 7,542 Americans die every day; in an aging America, increasingly more will perish each year. Most disturbingly, much of my social circle has assumed that lockdowns, masks and vaxxes work, and have given little or no consideration to the social, economic and psychological costs of these practices.

During the past year, I have had a formerly friendly neighbor roll his head and eyes and stomp away when I told him — in response to his question — that schools should not have been closed. Europe has proven me correct, Another New Jersey neighbor gloated when southern universities were said to have case “surges(!)” I pointed out that all of those infected would be fine because they were young. And they were fine.

Last summer, another friend told me that, because he feared infection, I was unwelcome to stop and stay at his home, as I had many times before, and that he wouldn’t meet me at an outdoor restaurant for lunch. I know other people who ordered groceries for a year.

Last week, a vaxxed relative stormed out of a room because I entered without a mask. A man who told me five years ago that he loved me recently severed ties with me. Two atheists who told me they used to admire me have now labeled me a phony Christian and told me never to send them another message.

And so on. Many of you have dealt with similar displays of emotion over reason.

My erstwhile friends, like most Americans, have not weighed their real life observations against the sensationalistic Coronavirus news coverage. New Jersey has the highest Covid death rate. New York is ranked second. I directly know many hundreds of people in these two states; indirectly, perhaps thousands. Yet, I directly know zero, and indirectly know of only four, individuals said to have died “from” the Coronavirus. Two had Stage 4 cancer and died in the hospital after testing positive, using very overinclusive 40 PCR tests. Two others were 92 and 93, respectively, and were institutionalized with Alzheimer’s. Did the virus kill these four? Statistically speaking, with an infection on their forms, they were “Covid deaths.”

But seriously?

Most people I know have taken their disfigured worldview from TV and other corporate media. Buzzphrases like “Crush the curve,” “Follow the Science,” and “Emergency rooms overrun,” and 6 o’clock and NPR news jargon like “spikes” and “variants” pervade their speech and e-mails.

They’ve been brainwashed. When asked, none can point to a single previously healthy person they know who has died from the virus. Many of the fearful are introverts or teachers/public employees who were paid to stay home. Few have ever visited nursing homes. I’m not a Trump lover, but I’ve noticed that extreme Covid fear correlates closely with Trump Derangement Syndrome. At least three books I’ve read, Victims of Groupthink, The Arrogance of Humanism and the surprisingly trenchant Toxic Sludge is Good for You, help to explain the dysfunctional, tribal acceptance, by people I know, of propaganda posing as news or government guidance.

If I’m right that the “Pandemic” caused a tremendous overreaction and/or was an outright scam, should I like people less because they’re misinformed?

I like to have friends from whom I can learn. I value relationships with people who say things that are true. These people rely on solid facts and think clearly; they can evaluate basic data and reasonably assess risk. They consider the larger context and the long term. They trust what they see with their own eyes more than they trust what is shown on TV or in biased publications.

How much can I learn from people who don’t do any of the foregoing, and have naively derived their worldview from media and governments that have deliberately misled the public for the past 18 months? How much can I respect someone who is plagued by irrational fear and views other humans as viral vectors?

Some, like Dale Carnegie and Erich Fromm, say that we shouldn’t place expectations upon others or judge their feelings. But this notion has only the most superficial, aspirational appeal. It’s detached from reality.

The opposite is true: functional families and friendships — and whole societies — are rooted in mutual, typically fulfilled expectations. Everyone I know — no matter how resolutely they stake out a nonjudgmental identity — judges others when his or her— i.e., the judger’s—expectations are unmet. We expect more from family and friends than we expect of strangers. And they expect more from us.

Sure, no one is perfect and sometimes family or friends do — or fail to do — stuff that bothers us. And reciprocally. But we all make decisions about which transgressions are acceptable and which aren’t. Instead of being disappointed when someone fails to meet our expectations, one might ask: how reasonable are our expectations, and how big a failure to meet these expectations and/or how consequential a mistake makes us lose respect for others?

Tens of millions of gullible, misinformed Americans have lost their minds over this virus. Or, rather, I’ve seen in retrospect that the people with whom I've parted ways over Coronamania had also exhibited poor thinking before the Scamdemic. I had previously rolled with such misjudgments because they weren’t as consequential as Coronamania has been.

Profound isolation and pain has unnecessarily, thoughtlessly been brought to bear on billions of people in the past 18 months. Much of this damage—especially the theft of life experiences and the memories thereby created—is irreversible. Too few people considered the damage that lockdowns have done to those, especially those under 30, not portrayed on the Six O’Clock News.

The willingness to ignore the lockdowns’ costs makes me think much less of some people whom I used to consider friends; especially when they continue to believe they’re well-informed, virtuous benefactors of humanity and call me a reckless, selfish grandpa killer. They may even have thought that lockdowns, etc. were “kind.” But throughout human history, vast damage has been done by naive people with good intentions but poor judgment.

I’m not “canceling” friends in a retributive, life-wrecking way. And some of these decisions to part ways have been mutual. I’ve just lost enthusiasm for some relationships.

I can’t let fearful, misinformed people drag me down. Maybe some of these relationships will resume somewhere down the line. Maybe they won't. But one must survive this period. The virus doesn’t scare me. But being around people crazed by the virus is bad for my mental health.

Sometimes in life, one loses friends. Most often, friendships dissolve when you or your friend moves to a distant place. Whatever the reason, I've always made new friends to replace the old ones. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. And time is zero sum; spending time with one person necessarily means that one is not spending time with others.

Thus, I’ve started “seeing other people.” I’ve recently befriended people who aren’t irrationally fearful, people who are appropriately skeptical about the fearmongering media and people who don’t see the world through a partisan political prism.

I’m open to more new friends. Above all, it’s important to me to be around sensible people. Being able to make me laugh is a plus.

Send recent, unmasked photo. Serious inquiries only.