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The most destructive delusion of modernity - "safety first", eclipsing all other concerns. The idea that the purpose of life is to maximize its length, rather than its meaning.

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Amen.

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Less than a decade into my pharmacy career, I had an elderly black lady, a patient, a pillar of the local black church, who wasn't going to make it very long at all, she was on hospice care and bedridden. I regularly delivered to her neighborhood after work, and made several stops to check on her and she seemed to enjoy the brief visits very much.

Then one time I stopped, and she was visibly worse, was having trouble breathing, and they had obviously upped her morphine dose considerably. She thanked me for my visits, but told me "Don't stop here again, your work is with the living."

That bothered me a little, but more because she was frightened even though she hid it.

The next week, delivering to one of her neighbors, I asked how she was. The neighbor told me "She is much better, much better."

"How is that possible?" I asked. "She is no longer afraid." the neighbor told me.

Immediately I crossed the street, knocked on the door, and the nurse let me in. Upon entering her room, she snapped "I thought I told you to not stop here again?"

"Well, you did," I said, "But I need your advice." She nodded and pulled down her oxygen mask, and managed a sweet smile.

"I want to ask you about fear, and, and, Faith." I spoke.

We had the most amazing conversation, but of course, you knew that.

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How to die without fear? Very difficult for humans to do. I saw my father do it when he died of cancer in his 50's. On the contrary, I saw my sister die with fear from cancer in her 50's also. I will try to follow my father's example.

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As I see it, it is all about Faith.

The elderly spiritual black lady still had fear, but not for herself, for her grands, in particular. We prayed together for them, and I promised her I would add them to our prayer group at church after she passed. I heard later that one of them, the boy, played for over half a dozen years in MLB, and the granddaughter's first born was named for the great granny she never knew.

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Yes! From about May 2020 on my catchphrase was “we’re holding onto life at the expense of living”

Which later morphed into “I’d rather die than live like this” as the depression kicked in.

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Unfortunately no one teaches you how to die. Instead, everyone forces you to live as long as possible and at all cost. My mom has now severe dementia, thankfully a cousin and her husband went to visit mom and dad during this time and very frequently. Not all without purpose, I know now (they were aiming at buying the house) but that is okay. But for more than 2 years I am talking to dad to get him used to the idea that neither he nor mom will live forever. At that high age, you would think they knew. And you would think them to be smarter than to take 3 jabs that by then had already proven worthless at best and harmful and even killing at worst.

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"everyone forces you to live as long as possible and at all cost."

Yes, it's such a strange thing, isn't it? The ability to assess risks realistically is pretty much gone, while pleasure and enjoyment of life is considered frivolous. No pleasure, according to our sick society, is worth even the most minute risk of danger.

That is no way to live! As an illustration, I'm going to say something controversial here:

I don't wear a bike helmet. Now, I'm not a professional cyclist. I ride my bike on quiet suburban streets. I don't even ride in the bike lane on busy streets; I ride my bike like I did as a kid, avoiding busy streets and car traffic as much as possible, pulling over when a car is behind me to let them pass, etc.

I've never even hit my head while riding my bike. We're talking 42 years of bike riding here. Yet still people yell at me to wear a helmet. Why? There are few things I enjoy more than riding my bike on a sunny spring day. I've tried helmets and they take all the joy out of riding a bike for me. What little protection they offer isn't worth the trade off.

I can't imagine being 80 and worried about dying. One of the best things about getting older is not giving a fuck.

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I’m with you. I’ve had an incredible life—still living one at 74. Marriage of 55 years. We’re going primitive camping out west snd kayak 20 miles down the Niabrara River. Hike the trails in the Snowy Range. I don’t give a fuck either. Finally. I’ve never felt so strong and fearless. It might come in handy.

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As you get older, even a threat of punishable by death, is slight deterrence.

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I’m a woman of faith. What are they going to threaten me with? Heaven?

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Imagine that some of us still have family dependents even past 80 and our demise would end that caring protection, leaving them to the anonymous care of the state machine. That is my sole fear of dying.

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I worry most about my dog and cats...

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Please be sure to include their care in your Will, and don't assume that your relatives or beneficiaries will take care of them or find them good homes. You'll need to make arrangements with someone or a nonprofit group who has agreed in writing to take on the responsibility when you die or become incapacitated, and a copy of that agreement needs to be included with your Will and conveyed to the executor of your estate.

I've been a volunteer animal humane worker and rescuer for decades, and it is sadly VERY common for people to assume that their relatives will adopt or find homes for the beloved pets they leave behind. Some of the saddest sights I've seen at the local pound or shelter are depressed or terrified pets huddled in a corner, with the words "owner deceased" on the info card hanging on their cage. Their owner hadn't cared enough to make arrangements ahead of time for their ongoing care.

Being an animal rescuer, I own a slew of formerly unwanted or abandoned pets, many of whom were considered unadoptable, and that's why they ended up with me. My Last Will and Testament, which is updated regularly, has a significant bequest to a local animal rescue group (for whom I currently do volunteer work), as their board of directors has agreed to take in my pets and care for them until homes can be found. It's peace of mind for me, and the last act of kindness that I can do for them.

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Haha Vernon, I totally agree! I also read reports on helmets, and some make it MORE dangerous. Some helmets instead of protecting you, will harm you. Makes me think of some jabs.... I think it is ridiculous to see kids drive around in golf carts and four wheelers, and then have to wear a helmet on a bicycle !

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Right on! Yeah helmets only prevent skull fractures ... which are rare in casual cycling anyway. People think they prevent concussions but a concussion happens when your brain rattles around in your skull. Helmets don’t do anything to prevent that and as you point out, some studies show they actually exacerbate concussions.

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They help for children learning to ride; children generally fall over when slowing and stopping. They increase concussions in experienced cyclists because experienced cyclists crash at speed, and the soft bike helmets grab the pavement causing a sudden massive deceleration. The brain sloshing around inside the skull from the impact/deceleration is a bad thing.

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I remember the South Carolina drivers handbook said it was illegal to wear a helmet while driving, because it I"nterfered with your vision and hearing." "Why the double standard?" I asked.

I never wore one on a bike, or a motorcycle. Worst thing about Georgia, they had a damn helmet law. Don't know about now, bone disease took me off bikes almost 2 decades ago

See my Newsletter #2.

https://shooter907ie.substack.com/p/tin-foil-hat-time?s=w

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Perfectly stated. I've been trying to pin down how to express that sentiment and you've done it.

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As a Vietnam era vet while in boot camp in 1970 and preparing to be an Army helo pilot, I spoke with many young men who just got back from Nam. They all told me about bad it was over there and how the US government lied about why we were there. They emphatically told me to find some way out of my military commitment and to never go over there. I have never ever trusted the US government now for over 52 years. I knew immediately that this C19 nonsense was all about subverting and enslaving US citizens into blindly doing as they're told. I'm still unmasked, I never locked down, I never social distanced, I never submitted to testing and am unvaccinated.

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Imagine a vaccine so safe and effective that you have to be threatened to take it for a disease so deadly that you have to get tested to know you have it. Of course, nothing wrong with that....except everydamnthing. Tank=HERO (same here)

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I love the way you put that, Sun. They tested positive ! They are not sick and they did not feel anything but they have covid. It is almost like a triumph. So sad.

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Thanks Ingrid! have a nice weekend. Scott (Sun)

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No symptomless person is "suffering" from Severe Acute Respiratory Distress ! FFS !

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My husband was drafted into the Army infantry and went to Nam in 1967. And yes, they were definitely lied to big time. He quickly realized that if he wanted to go home alive at the end of his one year tour of duty, it all became about survival for him and his platoon, forget the crap the government was saying they had to do. So that is what they concentrated on, successfully. He got almost all his guys home in one piece. Like you, he hasn't trusted the word of the government and their war machine since that time. Same with me (we've been married almost 53 years). Which is probably why we both identified C19 as a sham almost instantly, back in March 2020, things didn't add up right. We haven't played the covid game at all, and lucky for us we live in a mountain area of California where people mostly ignored all the idiocy and did what they wanted. (Yes...some free areas DO exist in Commiefornia!).

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I live about 4 miles from the Capitol in East Sacramento. It is insane here-most of the kids have taken their masks off when they play, but there are still masked children at the park on the equipment or masked children riding their bikes. My wife and I did a quick comparison, we are the only people we know of in our neighborhood not vaxxed. Bonkers here.

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So happy for you! Good life to you!

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Few young men in Vietnam or anywhere else had any idea why we were there. Lies are necessary to help the ignorant cope. Those who want to learn how the world works, can. Most dont.

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Same here....no tests, never a mask, zero contact tracing, social closeness at all times and in broad daylight; :-), no hand sanitizers of any kind, and absolutely no clot shots! BS, all of it! From day one!

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That’s what we love to hear!

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My parents were hippies. Growing up my sister and I were taught the government was not our friend nor did they have our best interest at heart. One of the best lessons they taught us. One that my husband and I are passing down to our children.

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I live in Portland Oregon and know a few hippie / counterculture patents ... I guess they were posers all along because they all got the shots, gave them to their kids, and yelled at us for not following orders.

It was eye opening.

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They were never real hippies hon!

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I know that now. It’s funny that I turned out to be the true hippie even though I don’t dress the part or otherwise wear it on my sleeve. I didn’t realize how many people’s identities are costumes. So many people have no true values.

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I don’t dress the part either hon, it a state of mind.

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My dad always called them hippie riffraff. They look like they work at Whole Foods which was one of the first stores to instill some anti science rules.

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I am a hippie parent and that’s what I taught my children too and what they teach now to their children. It’s a helpful fact to know that government is not your friend.

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But sadly these ‘new agey/hippie’ parents that were around up in NoCA when I was in college up in Santa Cruz, that are now also up in The Bay Area, Marin, Sonoma counties etc were the people ironically, to cave in this Scamdemic. These liberal types dutifully put on the masks and flocked to get the Vaxxines! They inculcated the fear Propaganda Porn like dutiful soldiers! Even Waldorf schools got into masking/online- distance learning/social distancing! What would Rudolf Steiner say? I have friends who raised their kids with a Waldorf education in Sonoma County and they were shocked at how their community and their friends caved to these lockdowns, mask wearing & vaxxines!

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I know! I’m in BC Canada a similar culture to California and rife with hippies but most of them just caved! I was totally stunned and amazed! Long time friends were sucked right in and angry at me because I stubbornly refused to fold. It was easy for me to take the stand, I’ve taken it over Marijuana legalization and also fought to have midwifery made legal in Alberta when I lived there as a midwife. That was crazy too! They took away hospital privileges to doctors who assisted at home births and midwives were arrested and charged with practising medicine without a licence. It was a six year battle but we prevailed.

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Yes Whats crazy is here in CA in the natural health practitioners field many practitioners (naturopaths, Chiropractors, massage therapists, acupuncturists) all have caved to the mask wearing and got the vaxxes! WTF….What about natural immunity, supporting one’s innate immune system and the body’s ability to weather these so called viruses we all come in contact with?That went out the window! Even the esteemed College of Naturopathic Medicine, Bastyr University went over to the dark side on this Covid crap!

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I know. I’m an herbalist and I have had my people on antivirals since day one. My people meaning the few who trust me on this.

Literally that was my first response in learning of the pandemic: I made antiviral tonics. As time went on I advocated to my people to exercise, lose weight, eat right and take supplements especially vitamin D.

I’ve never seen anything like this and I’m just shocked and horrified at how everyone caved. I have friendships that have been destroyed by this. Crazy eh?

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Right there with you! I never thought I’d see naturopaths pushing inadequately tested vaccines using novel technology for a flu like illness. Insanity!

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So I am a user of flower essences. I have been for years…have used them on my animals for their whole lives as well. At the end of Feb/early March 2020 I went to No NM to do a long weekend workshop with a woman from Taos who has a flower essences company. The rumblings of Covid were on the horizon. She knew what was in the air and had made up an combo essence she called Virus 2020. After 2020 & the Covid BS was still very much with us, it morphed into ‘Viruses’. I have taken this FE formula along with a few others daily for over 2 years and have never been sick! And I am in the ‘older’ age cohort that supposedly is the most vulnerable!

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Oh and I forgot my opposition to the Vietnam war too lol!

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How do you explain vegans who love masks , lockdowns and vaxxxxx?

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Yes it doesn’t quite go with their values and beliefs. Like do they know the human fetal cell lines and animal cell lines that are in many Vaxxines? I know a vegan young woman (34) who appears to have got the Vaxx, got a bad case of shingles first, then was sick in bed with some Covid type ‘virus’ for a month! ‘Safe & Effective’ was enough for her I guess!

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Bravo…I am the same as you and was in high school and college during the Vietnam era! We learned back then that ‘The Man’ was not to be trusted!

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Hubby marine corps sniper in nam. He got out early when his mom got cancer. His uncle a big wig helped him but he served long enough to see what was going on.

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Although it’s off topic I’m curious about your Vietnam experience. I was born in 1971. Government propaganda and the hidden truth is a topic that I’m very interested in. So...

What did the government say was the reason we were there?

What was the real reason?

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Vernon

Among other things, be sure to check out Mark’s excellent piece on Substack as well as the Brownstone Institute regarding a comparison of our failure in Vietnam and the “pandemic.”

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I remember the Domino Effect. One country goes commie the rest tip over. But we know it was to serve the military industrial complex ultimately.

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Imperialism masked as democracy fighting communism/tyranny. Divide and conquer. Been the MO forever.

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The president (a dem, unsurprisingly) said it was because they attacked our boat in the Tonkin gulf, which was probably a lie, and to stop communist expansion, which was true. Without Vietnam and a lot of lesser conflicts, we would have been cornered into the necessity of nuclear exchanges to determine dominance. Those who survived would probably all be speaking Russian today.

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One of my dearest late friends was a radarman on the destroyer that was allegedly attacked in the Tonkin Gulf Incident. He told me it was complete bullshit. I believe him.

God rest your soul, Richard.

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PS: Though I grew up idolizing WFB Jr., the CIA, and our military (and even though my youngest son is active-duty USMC) I now know that it was all a huge lie - a bright, shining lie.

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I just read a recent book about Tonkin Gulf. It was BS, and they knew it at the time.

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We lost in Vietnam, and Vietnam won, and that did not result in people here speaking Russian.

During the Vietnam War, I served in Air Force signals intelligence. They taught me Romanian in Monterey, but, because I already knew German and some Russian, they assigned me as a Russian linguist in Berlin for a couple of years. I am trying now to improve my Russian.

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No single action defeated the Russians. It was a careful campaign over decades, designed to keep both sides from escalating to nuke exchange. It worked. Russia intended to have everyone under their control, and Americans dead. As their premier told the UN, "We will bury you!" My experience was that intel seldom knew what was going on. And keep working g on that language training. You'll need it if Joe gets us into WW3.

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Same here Tank and what a process it was!! So many people trying to tell me what to do. I’m proud of you and of myself we made it through. I had C19 three times. It was the fucking flu!!

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Well done Tank! I don't know you but we think exactly the same and have done the same for the last 2 years. You are a good man!

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Thank you for sharing your family story. As a 69 year old unvaccinated person, I can tell you that no one I know agreed that schools, gyms or churches should have closed. No business should have closed. The younger people should not have been damaged and the oldsters should have been allowed to live the balance of their lives free and unafraid. I despise the evil people who hatched this sick “safety” scam and hope Satan has reserved the hottest corner of hell for them if they don’t pay in this life. Never again. We must never be sheep again for any reason.

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I knew it was bullshit from Day 1. It makes me angry that so many people bought it.

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No doubt!! Right from minute one. I still have trouble comprehending how it took over like that. And still wondering why most of my friends and people I looked up to and respected bought the bullshit and condemned me as a bad person for not doing the stupid lockdowns, masking and vaxxes.

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I’m also having trouble dealing with my anger and frustration at not seeing the responsible people held accountable…

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My spouse knew it was BS from day one, I realized same by day five. Most around here have chosen to become medical beta tests, ie, have taken the shots.

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As a 69 year old, you may remember that Woodstock took place right during an allegedly dangerous Hong Kong flu. The complete opposite of lockdowns and everyone was fine except for a few bad trips.

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I did not know that! Interesting!

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Thanks again Mark, this is such wonderful reading. Love the descriptions of your family as they struggled with the barrage of covid news and measures.

In our family only my husband, eldest son and I are unvaxxed and maybe one or two contrarian nieces. Somehow we all got together and got along once the first month passed. But my youngest sister now has signs of MS that came on after first Moderna shot. Another sister's platelets went wild after JJ shot. Of maybe fifteen people I know injured by the shots she's the only one who reported it.

And we have had several suicides in my parish. Two women in their sixties killed themselves in one month, February. You can still smell despondency here. Seeing masked little squirrels out and about is a constant reminder that the switch can be thrown again by the CDC-following creeps in local government. I plan to resist. I'll never again trust any government agency in matters of health.

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"I'll never again trust any government agency in matters of health."

My RN wife and I are about to start adopting a sibling set. (We have 5 successful adult children, and by happenstance we've become aware of the dire needs of unadoptable children. We are in our 50's now and can provide a loving, stable home that we now understand is badly needed.)

This morning she was talking about finding a pediatrician for our soon to be adoptees, and a feeling of dread just hit me: like it or not (and I don't) I'm going to have to involve myself with our beyond stupid and corrupt medical establishment. The bullshit vaxes, the regular office visits, the insurance cartel. UGGGGH! I HATE THESE BASTARDS SO MUCH.

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Believe me, I know the feeling. Loathing and revulsion. I'm having paresthesias from a pinched nerve root at C3-C4, will have to see doctor and get MRI and then pray it doesn't require any more. The thought of involvement with doctors in this makes me so depressed.

But God bless you! You're trying to do something for those kids. I love you for that! May God protect your family!

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If I had any children now, I’d only have them see a functional medicine doctor.

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Thanks, Cathleen. Your comment prompted me to find one near me for future use.

Personally, I'm totally against the medical cartel and its concomitant regimen of biannual checkups, etc. If you're seriously ill or injured, by all means, seek medical care

But if you're going to a doctor just because the calendar said so, you've been duped into the cult.

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Beautifully described window into the sorrow of these past two years for you. Thanks for sharing.

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Thanks, Jennifer.

There are other parts of this period that are too dark to write about. For the first time, this week I printed out the fifty stories/essays I've written. As I watched the pages pile up and felt the weight of the pile, I felt like crying. I didn't cry, but I felt like it.

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Perhaps a book in the making? Your writing is compelling.

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Will buy immediately. A bedside book.

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I feel like crying most times I think about what has taken place since March 2022. I cry for the elderly who died a slow, confusing, death of suffocation without their families. I cry for the people who still won't leave the house out of needless, dostorted fear pushed by the scamdemics. I cry for the small businesses who have had to try to accommodate a pandemic with extra expenses and less customers. I cry for families who lost time and memories with their loved ones. I cry for the children who haven't seen faces for over 2 years, who face a lifetime of potential learning deficits and physical side effects from inhaling mask fibers or bacteria. I cry for the children whose parents made the unforgivable decision to poison them with an untested vaccine that they didn't even need to begin with. I cry for the young people who committed suicide, or maybe considering suicide, or who struggle with depression/anxiety because leaders choose to scare them, and instill hopelessness, and encourage taking handouts, rather than actually living life and enjoying experience. I cry for myself, for having to acknowledge my world through new lenses, where, apparently no evil, no matter how large, ugly, or apprehensible, is prohibited, and no lie is unethical.

It's hard not to cry after you've seen a side of people/government that you never knew existed 😔

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As a former litigator, I have never been a big proponent of capital punishment. I know too much about the limitations of our legal system to be big on the death penalty.

But I would buy tickets to watch the perpetrators of this horrendous crap swing from the gallows or be lined up for a firing squad.

Of course that will never happen. The death penalty is solely for the poor. As I told every client I ever represented, "You get all the justice you can afford."

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I’d gladly load the chamber, tie the knot, fill the syringe, flip the switch or drop the blade. I’m not picky but I know there is much worse ahead for these monsters. In time. In time.

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Yes, pay-per-view sales would be out of this world! It is definitely way past heads-on-sticks time. Shame on all the devils.

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Guillotine would make the point.

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Some people are more equal than others! Children of a lesser god

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Thank you both Darci and Mark for telling this. I too have been on the edge of crying very often and depressed and finally could cry and felt relieved. The utter stupidity of so many is just heartbreaking.

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That is so true. Baffled is mostly how I feel about the ones who willingly bought the obviously false narrative., hook, line and sinker. Hard to comprehend not only the sheer numbers that just fell in line, but also how many still believe all the BS after so much data has proved otherwise. Boggles the mind it does. Like a bad nightmare that will not end.

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Like in that film, groundhog day. Over and over again

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agree absolutely. Mark echoes the voices and hearts of so many here. An absolutely disgusting revolting situation is occurring in our world.

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Yes, sorrow is a great way to describe the Covid years. I have read a lot of articles and perspectives on Covid the last 2 years. I am a RN and my unit was the Covid unit. It was very busy, like nothing I have ever seen before in 15 years. Even at the peak, we were stressed, but NOT overrun. I was shocked then but even more now about how much everyone freaked out. It was like a pandemic had never happened before and everyone was in danger of dying. When that turned out to not be true, it changed to shaming those who weren’t vulnerable into compliance so they wouldn’t be responsible for “murder.” The evil of that and the whole ridiculous theater of the last 2 years is truly appalling. And it is frightening how so many complied and lived with irrational fear for the last 2 years. The more you think about it and relive it, the more absurd it becomes. This stack and it’s commenters have been a blessing in a time of darkness.

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early on during the first lockdown period my son broke a finger (minor accident) and needed to be treated at the nearest hospital. while he was being admitted into the ER (it was 23:00), I made myself somewhat comfortable in the waiting area. however, the strangest thing was that not only were there no other patients in the ER, the whole hospital seemed deserted as well. there were very few nurses around, none of whom wearing a plastic suit, goggles or other protective gear, and in the parking lot the ambulances were neatly parked, silently waiting for something to happen. perhaps. no panic, no people, no sirens, just eery quietness..... my son had to wait a long, long time until someone finally came in to see him (again, no PPE), and I'd already joined him in the empty ER, where we sat together for many hours. by 03:00 the ER doctor had mended the wound, we got a receipt for painkillers and a time/date for his first check in a few days. after we got home at 04:00 I knew there was no pandemic, nobody was dying and it was no more than a big, cruel PR stunt.

TQ Mark for your powerful story.

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I had that same experience!!! There was no urgency, no crowding, the hospital felt mostly empty and I was thrown into an examination room (house fire, I was being checked for smoke inhalation.) and waited for about an hour for a doctor to come to the door of the room but not enter and asked a couple of questions and discharged me without a real exam of any sort. I didn’t care, the firemen made me go in, but it did strike me that for being in the middle of a pandemic, it was January of 2021, it was super not busy and not full.

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weird. sad. lonely. but it made us do our own research and not comply!

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It certainly did! My husband works in an ER in mid Michigan and at no point was his ER ever overrun. My husband's understanding of pathology and physiology had him questioning early warnings and advice from the "experts" right away but he still gave them benefit of the doubt since it was an animal to human virus after all🙄 We originally thought maybe his hospital wasn't busy because the virus hadn't really "hit" our city or state, but after seeing videos that people were posting online of inner city hospitals that were in the headlines but empty we started questioning EVERYTHING. Such lying pieces of shit...

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thnx for your comment! from animal to human: this is gain-of-function and guess who's been involved in GoF research for decades? DoD. where? Ukraine. outsourced to whom? Hunter Biden's company MetaBiota. connecting the dots.....

https://dilyana.bg/the-pentagon-bio-weapons/

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Pre pandemic, I was annoyed with how our healthcare costs were going up each year because of obesity and other food related issues among the old and young. During the pandemic, I was amazed at how they used old, sick, obese people as the reason we healthy folks should suffer with masks and lockdowns. Sorry to sound callous but I am not a burden to the Heathcare system as I eat well, work out and rarely go to a doctor. I lost over two years of my life because of other peoples’ bad choices. Time for people to start eating well and exercising rather than relying on a broken sickcare system and public health nazis.

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Sadly, it was more than bad choices. It was endless marketing of convenience food, relentless pressure to work harder at meaningless jobs and the everyday sociopathy of a culture that is destroying our living biome. I'm happy you're well, as am I, because of healthier choices. But I don't judge those who aren't because we never know what circumstances may have led them to poor health. Many are traumatized in childhood or live with abusive families, partners or children. We need to be compassionate with each other even as we tear down systems of oppression.

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Agree to disagree. We cannot be victims of our own circumstances.

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it's conditional: to not be a victim of one's own circumstances is very difficult to attain when one's not a healthy, balanced person.

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My favourite was when people started to demand that unvaccinated people should pay for their hospital visit.

1. So an unvaccinated individual who never visited a hospital in their life should straight out pay? A vaccinated one who is a burden for the health care system should be fine.

2. I agreed with this lunatics: with the following extension: all other persons should also pay for their behaviour. Alcoholics, smokers, obese people. But then I asked them where do we stop? Should we penalise people doing extreme sports? Should we make people pay for damage who was driving recklessly and causing an accident? Once you are on the slippery slope it is difficult to stop.

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Exceptional essay. But it’s really sad. And familiar. I’m the person in the family who hasn’t bought into the narrative and it’s so sad how afraid they are sometimes when they don’t need to be. so many lies and propaganda, but they don’t want to hear it. I’ve been reading for you for awhile, thank you for sharing your thoughts and writing talent. I recently left nyc due to mandates and before I lost my livelihood and basically got run out of town, I tried to fight it by attending marches and I wrote a blog called distressedliberal.com to show how illogical and wrong vax mandates are. I think nyc is a lost cause although I hate to say it. Where I am now people have much more common sense, it seems. There are more people who “see” than we know, I’m sure. Thanks again.

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Erica, I also lost my livelihood. Unlike Mark, I have cried many tears - for the world we lost, for the professional future I lost, for the personal uncertainty that lies ahead. None of us are alone, though we all feel that we are. I am thankful that my father - a medical doctor - saw through it from the beginning, long before I did. So he, my mother, and my household are unvaxxed - while the rest of our family is very much vaxxed and very afraid. This is actually my first week free from my former employer so I need to find a rhythm and direction. I need to get my head straight on the job search. And, yes, my approach to pursuing legal remedy.

Mark, I echo others that I see a book in your future. Your writing is beautiful and bleak and honest and real. It captures the othering, the observation of the irrational fear from the outside, the bleakness and aloneness that came from this period. And, Mark, your story is heartbreaking and real, with parallels to many of us, but also very different, because where you live, the vast majority bought in. Please keep writing, even the hardest parts. I hope it is cathartic for you.

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To all that had to give up their livelihood, their home, their town, their state even, I say a prayer for all of you. May you all find a better place, a better job, a better town and a better community. There is hope for all of us. More and more people will wake up and those that don't will gather together scared, afraid forever.

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Wow, what a wonderful response Ingrid. I for one appreciated the hope and positivity.

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Only after I cried for all that is lost, I could see what is gained. I think we have lived through a horror story, and lots of people woke up to the dishonestness of governments, doctors, etc. and I think that is a big step forward. Lots of people have learned to question things they took for granted. I gave up on organized religion and now go outside and thank the sun and the blue sky, and the rain and even the mosquitoes LOL. Well rather the birds that eat mosquitoes !

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Nature is always the answer!

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Birds gotta eat something.

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I’m sorry about your job loss Jennifer. Interesting that it seems to have happened recently, as things are dying down.

My company went remote and only now just opened the office. Coming in is voluntary but you have to be vaccinated. I’d love to come in just to get out of the house, but I’m banned.

Now we have clients coming to town and I’m being pressured to join, which means I’ll have to reveal my unvaccinated status. I fear once they find out I’ll be given an ultimatum.

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This is all so stupid and yet it continues, for absolutely no reason. I lost my job back in Nov. and have put off looking for a new one as long as shot work mandates still exist. I'm not playing that game - ever. I was supposed to start looking for jobs today. I didn't do it. I just can't. God is providing my daily bread now in another way and I will lean on that until He says otherwise.

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It’ll all work out! You’re doing the right thing, following your instinct.

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My mom is 98, I can't go see her unless I'm boosted and PCR'd. She's bedridden, blind, deaf, and has no idea what's happening. I cry everyday that California health dept won't let me see my mom, and a ton of guilt. Plus my sisters hate me because I refrained from clot shot

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I am so sorry Ann. That is a terrible decision to have to make and even worse that your sisters holds it against you. I hope you find peace. My heart goes out to you.

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If I talk about it I cry. she's being cared for by a 24 hour staff while locked up, she used to say," Annie don't ever leave me", and I would say, "don't worry. I won't"

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I can't imagine your pain. Makes me hate those bastards all the more.

I have a friend whose son gave him a screen shot of his vax pass. My friend uses it to enter venues. They don't look that closely. I hope that would help you see your mom. Your sisters would probably prevent you from getting away with it more than once. It would be worth it to me.

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civil disobedience here we come!

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My mom died at 95 in 2016. I'm glad she didn't get caught up in all this. However, I can say with all certainty that if I were in your situation, I'd get a fake vax card and claim to have the shots and boosters just in order to be with my mom. I wouldn't think twice about it. I don't know where you are in California, but my daughter works in a nursing rehab facility that must be the kind your mother is in, and this is California too, and her facility allows family visitors without demanding any proof of vaccine. In fact, she got a religious exemption quite easily and isn't vaxxed. We're in the N. California foothills, not a big city.

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An excellent but sad story of this entire scandemic. It can imagine the frustration of trying to convince your parents they are being unnecessarily fearful. My own experience with friends and family was similar. Hitting your head against the wall. My wife's parents were in an assisted living facility and the staff took a photo of them sitting at a table, masked and holding a sign that said "We are fine". Looked just like a hostage photo. Being alive and being fine are two different things.

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God almighty what a vision 😩😩

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Very good post. I decided early in 2020 that I was going to live while alive. In May of that year I had open heart surgery. After I got home, an old friend texted to check on me. I told her that some friends had brought me dinner and we were visiting. She replied, “I hope they’re wearing masks.” I answered, “Nope, not a mask in sight and I’m happy they’re here.” That comment was followed by a texting speech she gave me about how I needed to be careful, blah blah blah. I said that I appreciated her concern, but that I had survived brain surgery and heart surgery and I wasn’t scared of covid. Since then I have just tried to maintain a connection with her since I’ve known her since sixth grade, but I just avoid the topic of stupid covid and all the stupidity surrounding it. Now that her dad has terminal cancer, I wonder if she wishes she would not have distanced herself from him throughout 2020. Probably not…Blindness doesn’t just affect the eyes.

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Janice your a better person than me , my tolerance is almost ZERO.

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Probably just means I’m a conflict avoider… 🥸

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Im so sorry for your parents’ (& your) experience in such a climate of fear but they sure sound like survivors, esp your mom!

From the beginning I never believed the hyped up “deaths” & absolutely believed the survivability statistics for the vast majority of people @ any age. The phony, manufactured concern for the “vulnerable” was belied by the evil governors who mandated that covid elderly be put back into nursing homes to kill many more of those “vulnerable”.

When the covidian true believers were bleating only about covid “deaths”, I kept asking - what about everyone else dying of everything else?!?! What about the young, w/ their whole lives ahead being sacrificed for the elderly who have already lived?!?! Never could get a straight answer to either one except “but…Covid!” Lost so much faith in my fellow man the past 2 years. It’s been enlightening & depressing

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Double edged sword, for sure. Many of us would still be in the dark .

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Mark, your experiences with your parents during Christmas, struck a particular chord with me. My daughter and SIL live in the NE and have completely bought into the LMTV nonsense. They were coming to our home last Christmas, and we were so excited. My mother was recuperating in our home from hip surgery, so to make things easier, we reserved a week at an expensive hotel for the kids. They arrived late on Monday, called and told us they would be over in the morning. They called the next day, telling us that since we were not vaccinated (we had all previously had the virus), they would not come unless we all had tests. They also indicated they wanted us all to mask and social distance. I admit that I verbally took no prisoners. I was white hot MAD. We refused to test, they refused to come over and promptly left for Texas to visit his family. They also got on an airplane a couple of days later, flew to Hawaii, which was having an big outbreak. On Christmas Day, they FaceTimed us, and it took every ounce of my self control to be pleasant.

Everyone in SIL’s family has been ultra-jabbed, and they are the most unhealthy bunch I’ve ever known.

With a few months behind me, and lots of prayer, I now just feel sorry for them. They have been manipulated and brainwashed.

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Yeah for not holding back on your daughter & SiL as to how you felt and that you were not getting tested! Why should they run the show? Shoot you paid for their fancy hotel stay! I know it’s hard to have your own flesh & blood turn into such sniveling idiots and succumb to the brainwashing & propaganda. Hopefully one day they will come to understand that they were sold a bill of goods on the experimental injections (and hopefully before they have wreaked havoc on their immune systems.). All for that Hawaii vacation! And that over time they will come to understand the importance of one’s family over any Jab, mask or mandate, in the the bigger scheme of life.

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I pray every day that their eyes will be opened. Recently, they have started to see injuries, bizarre illnesses, and returning, aggressive cancers in people with the shots. My daughter is worried, but not yet ready to have a conversation. I will be here when she is open to seeing the truth.

One good thing to come from our dust up is that there is zero woke nonsense spoken around us now! They now know better, hehe.

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I know perhaps she will come around when more people she knows are staring to existence delayed vaxx injuries.

I have ‘liberal’ family members and friends who are in real denial about the vaxxes. One friend (my cousins Sister in law) told me recently that a lot of her friends are suddenly dying and it’s distressing. (We are in the late 60’s early 70’s age range) I asked her what happened and one friend was watching TV with her husband and he left the room and came back and she was dead. (My friend said the woman had ‘Health issues’ whatever that meant). Her other friend, a former college roommate of hers, was diagnosed with a rapidly spreading brain cancer last November and died in January. My friend is Jabbed & Boosted , is very overweight and was diagnosed with an auto immune disease before getting the shots. It is highly likely that her friends were also injected. She doesn’t make a connection to the shots and these rather sudden deaths of her friends, that were likely the cause of their deaths. I sent her a post from Childrens Health Defense about a woman (in our age group) who was Vaccine injured then developed rare neurological issues and died a few months after getting the shot, and asked her if this was possibly what happened to her friends.

I never heard back from her.

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It’s shocking how deeply delusional some are about the causes of sudden deaths and unusual diseases, of their acquaintances. I understand that they are likely all in on these shots and probably cannot fathom how that decision was such a massive mistake. It feels too scary for them to look at outcomes. I offered a recently double jabbed relative some sources for information on how to feel better. She has had cold hands, feet, and aching arms for 4 months. We were actually having a conversation that she initiated about the shots, and expressed regret that she allowed herself to be coerced into taking them. I could see her shutting down from fear once I began to just offer to connect her with people who could help her. Her mind possibly couldn’t allow her to keep entertaining the thought that she could be gravely injured. I made no mention of the horrific outcomes that I’m aware of, only offered to put her in touch with helpers. Even that was too much. It’s heartbreaking.

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Thanks again, you’re a very gifted communicator. I’m always excited to see your name in my inbox! I was unable to visit my mom inside her assisted living for 7 months, it was through a closed window and an iPhone. She has dementia and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t come outside or us inside. Eventually we could sit outside supposed to be 6 feet apart and wear masks.🙄😡 I always made it a point to hug her when we began our visit and when she went back inside to the chagrin of some of the Nazi employees. One staff said she was seeing failure to thrive in her residents-depression and weight loss. I attribute my mom’s mental decline to the Covid nonsense, at one point she said she’d rather live normally and die than be locked up away from family. Then again, she’s a follower of Christ so she’s not afraid of death and knows a better place awaits. Praise the Lord! Revelation 21: 1-4 ❤️

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I've been saying, since nursing home lockdowns began, "who lives in a nursing home because they want to?" The nursing home population is not the population to "protect!" Please withhold your judgement until you've read this entire post. If anything, during their last days and months of life, the long-term care (AKA nursing home) population needs to be surrounded by their friends and family. My mother went to a long-term care facility, with no visitation allowed, during the scamdemic. She was coherent, but required TOTAL CARE. I knew she wouldn't receive all the basic help she needed to maintain some sort of dignity, and I was not allowed to enter the facility, to help. Mom's quality of life was in the shitter, and she knew it. When she developed a pneumonia from faulty swallowing, she agreed with her children that it was better to let nature take it's course. We moved her to a hospice house where we could visit all we wanted, she was kept comfortable, and died a few days later, with dignity and in the company of her children and grandchildren. Again, I ask, "who's in a long-term care facility because they WANT to be, and why is this the population we're (so-called) protecting?"

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Excellent piece! Sadly, our parents' generation has always had great trust in "the government" and "doctors." They were already on Medicaid before Obamacare decimated our medical care--and ensconced big pharma/big insurance profitability as the number one priority. The sad fact that the government paid hospitals bounties by classifying deaths during the scamdemic as "from" Covid, not "with" Covid--along with increasing bonuses for specific treatments that actually made things worse, is something that has forever broken my trust in any 3-letter agency, the government as a whole and most of our health"care" system, forever. Our local hospital system is the biggest employer in this part of the state--and so many doctors I know personally were just parroting CDC talking points and advising churches to close "to protect the elderly." Several of them now know the truth--but big pharma and the insurance industry has them by the nuts. If doctors don't use specific treatments (i.e., prescriptions) when tests come back a certain way, the insurance probably won't pay for the visit or the test. Read that again...despite having a primary care doctor familiar with YOU or YOUR CASE making decisions on how to treat or what to take, their treatments are dictated by insurance companies to sell more drugs. Often, multiple drugs that don't interact well together. And the FDA & CDC both do their damnedest to undermine or discredit (or ban) any natural cures or supplementation to allow people to make their own choices about how live healthy without pharmaceuticals. These regulatory agencies have become thieves to quality of life and ultimately, as the scamdemic proved undoubtedly, murderers.

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My Mom passed in 2017 with the after effects of chemo and other cancer treatments. She would never even think about going against the advice of her doctors, never. I'm convinced the therapy shortened her life and lessened the quality of it- I was never convinced she was properly diagnosed. Myself and my siblings spent the last 3 days of her life with her, comforting as best we could- the last day she was totally incoherent and barely breathing- she mercifully passed that evening. I cannot imagine being denied access to her bedside those last days- I was fortunate enough to say goodbye.

Folks, it's just pure evil- we can't whitewash what's happened. I believe I know what my actions will be going forward in this hellish matrix- I pray for wisdom and discernment going forward. I believe there is more to my existence than just this brief time on earth- that's what gives me hope. Seems like a tough road ahead, though.

Mark, thanks for another timely post- please keep it up!

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